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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Shaun's LiveJournal:

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    Saturday, April 11th, 2009
    2:07 pm
    Got to step up my game!
     Today I started to read a new blog. It was written by a friend I mostly know through basketball. I clicked on it, expecting the regular twitter level revelations, observations and complaints I see on facebook and other sites.

    It wasn't there.

    What was there was well thought out and articulated reflection on the economy and world around us. So I came here to read what I wrote about last, and was kind of embarrassed with myself.

    Of course, wanting to make myself feel better, I instantly tried to justify it by telling myself "it's cool, you spend all day being you know, like deep and stuff in your classes!"....then I remembered I just showed Big Bang Theory episodes on Thursday.

    So I've come up with a new way to justify the lack of real importance or insight on my blog. I just don't know that much stuff. Yes, there it is. The truth. I know my movies, I know my basketball, I know my music. After that, I'm pretty much a blank slate.

    So I'll stick to what I know!

    I'll begin with movies. I've seen quite a bit lately. I'll break down my reviews:

    Adventureland: Not that bad! I know a lot of people don't really enjoy him, but I like Ryan Renyolds. This is a decent stoner romantic comedy. (Even if it did have the girl from Twilight, and i still cringe when I think of that movie). The movie is nothing special, but it's a nice way to spend an hour and a half with your girl if you're looking for something you can both enjoy.

    Fast and Furious 4 - Faster and Furiouser (or whatever it's called): Saw this with only guy friends, and frankly that's how it's ment to be seen. You have to go in with the right mindset. The script will have gigantic holes, the acting will be very wooden (Vin Deisel has a wide range of emotions, slightly confussed and slightly annoyed...which looks a lot like slightly confussed, but you gotta love him). But you know you'll see all $10 bucks of your money in explosions and a few good one liners here and there. Some scenes are very unintentionally funny, and leave lots of room for good natured mockery and sarcasm between you and your friends. A good "lets kick off the summer movie season" type film.

    Knowing: You know when somebody kicks you in the nuts? That the feeling you have when you realize you paid money to watch this crap. (SPOILER ALERT), The world is going to end because of solar flares and creepy aliens are going to capture our children to take them away to save us. Oh, and they really like pretty black stones. But nobody ever explains why. That's it, Send me $5 and a thank you note for saving you the other 5.

    Monsters Vs. Aliens: Best movie of the bunch so far. Well thought out, something for every age group. I really thought it would be pretty much only directed at children, but it really made me laugh (although to be fair, I do have a pretty similar sense of humour and mental maturity to a six year old...). I went with Michelle's entire family so we had guys and girls of all ages (well, not all ages, but we pretty much covered from 2 - 30). Liked by all.

    On a side note, I was thinking about how much animated movies have changed and how much this helps us as adults. When we were kids (think of Bambi, the original transformers movie, cinderella....) the cartoons only had jokes and such that appealed to us, the kids. Now movies like Shrek, all the Pixar/Dreamworks stuff, Bolt...they always throw in pop culture or political barbs for us the adults (although the other stuff still cracks me up too). This has set me up for a bright future of taking neices and nephews to movies pretending it was their idea, while allowing me to still see what I want.

    Alright, I gotta go play ball, I'll write more later.
    Saturday, June 14th, 2008
    1:39 pm
    All dressed up, with no place to go
     I'm sitting at home right now alone in my house in a shirt and tie. It's about 1:40 on a Saturday afternoon.

    Today there's a wedding between 2 people, who I'm sure are very nice, but I don't know at all.

    This week was my 28th Birthday.

    There, now that I've set up the story, I can begin.

    Last weekend I attended a wedding of 2 other probably very nice people, who I had never met.

    They had the reception in a nice place, with most likely very good food (lamb and seafood, both are quite fancy, neither of which I eat), an open bar, and a lot of people who looked to be having a lot of fun. Now I'm not much of a party person even if I know everybody. When I only know just my girlfriend, I'm not a lot of fun. I'm pretty shy and don't really know what to say in those situations. (I don't drink either, so there goes that way of loosening up).

    Still it wasn't a bad night I guess. Michelle looked gorgeous, and her coworkers do seem nice.

    This week was a very long week at school. The students are less than a week away from being done, the weather is nice, and keeping them focussed is pretty tough. I had a lotta marking and such to do, but that's expected at the end of the year.

    Wednesday was my birthday. I had a regular day of work, then I came home and finished marking some papers. My mom and sister were both gone out for the night. I had Wendy's for dinner. Good times...good times. (My girlfriend had to work from 6pm to 6am but was nice enough to still offer to call in sick and come see me, but I'd rather her call in sick on a day I can see her the whole day).

    As I said I have another wedding to go to today, the past couple days I"ve been asking michelle "what time do i go, when is it, I'd like to spend the day with you, i don't have much work so i can come the whole time....." and she said I don't need to go to the wedding, just the reception. I continued to say but i want to go...
    I know she's just trying to do what she thinks will make me happy. But I just wanted to go and spend the time with her. She told me, she'll let me know when it is and where. She might not even go, since she again works until 6am, and might just keep sleeping.

    I got up around 10am today, and waited for Michelle to call. Around noon, I wanted to call her and confirm, but then remembered she might be sleeping, so kept waiting. Around 1pm, I called her and she said she's going, and it's in Brampton (I don't actually know where that is, but I know it's far) and it's at 1:45. She told me I could still come, it wasnt' too late. She said just get ready and come.

    So I did, I had a fast shower, put on my dress shirt, did up my tie, and called her for directions.

    She said "well I don't know how to get there from your house; here's the address, and it's only an hour, so you might miss it."

    So I've now sat for 3 hours, waiting for the wedding of 2 people i don't know, in the place I don't know how to get to...and now I'm missing it. Again; sitting here, doing nothing. I'm awesome.

    Oh, P.S. I know I shouldn't complain, but man going to my school's athletic banquet last week was depressing. My old school's banquet is amazing, ours is uhhhh.....we'll just say different.

    2 more weeks of work. Then I'm done.

    Oh, and one of my friends from Japan might be coming to Toronto for a week or so, that'll be cool =)

    Peace.
    Thursday, June 5th, 2008
    12:30 am
    Nostalgic
     Tonight, I went to the athletic banquet for my old school. Man it was good. Now I'm all freaking depressed. 45 minute movie of all these kids enjoying themselves through sport. All these teachers giving their time, making these great connections....

    Tomorrow is my new school's banquet. No video, and people forgot to get any pictures for the slide show...so no slide show. I'm sure it'll be good, but I don't know if it'll be special. Oh well, part of being at a new school. You build towards these things I guess.

    At my old school I ran the athletic council; and I really think we (the students and myself) did a good job. We got a lot of people involved in sports who didn't normally play. That was the best part, getting new people (not necessarily athletic people) out and active. I miss doing that.

    (I've asked about helping with my new school's athletic council, but they seem to go with the phys ed teachers run it, and nobody's really taken me up on my offer...I've offered several times now, so I'm going to just take the hint).

    I'm pigeonholed as "the basketball guy" at my new school (which is a quite understandable assumption...considering it's my number one sport, and one of my great passions). However I think next year I'd like to start a club like a book club, or chess, or any of the many things I'm interested in that are NOT basketball. Try and expand my boarders a bit I suppose. Reach a different group of students hopefully.

    Seeing tonight, and remembering what it was like last year to put together that kinda evening was a weird feeling. I really missed it.

    I was sitting near a couple of my real mentors I've had in life, and surrounded by a number of students I've coached and taught for a few years, I was honoured to have been invited, but at the same time felt somewhat out of place. I don't actually work or go there anymore. I'm not really a part of anything, and had no real business being there.

    Still I'm glad I went. It'll be my last one. Nice way to end things I suppose.
    Tuesday, June 3rd, 2008
    10:56 pm
    I'm ready for summer. I feel empty. This year more than any other, I feel like I put everything I had into my job, into teaching, into coaching, into the students...and I'm empty. Running on fumes...

    In a few weeks I'll be off on my cruise (eastern caribbean I think). I'm sure it'll be good, but I haven't really gotten excited about it. I'm really hoping to save enough money to move out in the next few months; everything I spend money on leaves me feeling guilty. I really don't spend a lot, I save quite well (all part of being a cheap...cheap man). Still every bit helps.

    Random thoughts:

    Just saw a preview for "so you think you can dance". I should join that show, I have yet to see anybody break out the shopping cart...I think that'd woo the judges.

    My Birthday is in a week. Here's my list of presents I've asked for:

    Left ankle brace
    Right ankle brace
    Left knee brace
    Chapters gift certificate
    Socks
    Baseball glove
    Wheat thins

    If that list doesn't scream old, I don't know what does. Luckily I have the baseball glove in there to make me feel young again. I've been playing a lot of catch lately; often (sad as this sounds) on my own by tossing a ball against the wall.

    I try and spend as much time outdoors as I can. On the weekends and at night, I try and walk or ride my bicycle everywhere. I like it for a number of reasons:

    a) The aforementioned cheapness
    b) Trying to build up the confidence to eventually you know, wear a jersey or something on my cruise (long way away from being able to take my shirt off in public...come on jersey confidence!)
    c) My knees and ankles hurt so much after years of playing basketball, this is kind of as close to sports as I can do without pain.
    d) I enjoy the time in the sun, or under the stars.

    I need to come up with a list of books I want to read this sumer. I love reading, but only really have time in july and august. Any suggestions out there? Only one I have for sure on there is world without end (I'm waiting on the paperback version...i dont collect books, so paperbacks are easier to toss into my backpack and lug around)

    I played ball with a bunch of guys I've never played with before last week. They're all supposed to be really strong players in the ccyaa league. I made out pretty well. I did more or less what I wanted to do. I'm giong to assume the guys weren't really trying that hard, cuz frankly, I'm not that good.

    There's two courts out there that both claim to have had their glory days and been the birthplace of york region hoops.

    In reality, Milliken is the real birthplace. It was the first and the one to help forge the most scholarship level players. But the two courts that could argue for second place are buttonville and chalmers.

    Personally I don't think it's even a contest if we go all time (guys like Steve, Jon, Gerrard...), but even if we played a current game, of buttonville's best players vs. chalmers best players I'd liek Buttonville's best chances.

    Course I'm old and don't know a lot of the next generation. I'd assume Buttonville's team would go as follows:

    Note: These are in no particular order

    Dennis: Top defensive guard, injuries have taken a toll, but with only one serious game to push his body through, he'd still be an awesome leader and part of any team

    Jimmy: Best all around player still active, nuff said

    Neil: A pure scorer, opens the game up with his outside shot. Buttonville has also lacked in the production of big men, and with Neil's length, he would have to fill one of the taller positions, where we'd admittedly be thinner.

    Jordan: Once the next hope for buttonville, he's now the present. A player who was stuck between generations of basketball players, but stuck it out and really developed.

    Peter: A do everything player, plays well off of everybody, ultimate role player.

    Matt: Similar to peter with a slightly weaker set of hands, but better mid range jumper

    Garfai: Best ball handler around, dangerous especially if his streaky jumper is on

    Jasen: Personally, the guy I hate to cover most...cuz I can't.

    Alfred: Solid big man, makes the team partially due to lack of competition at the center position, but also a really good team defender

    Myself: A solid player, low mistakes.

    So that'd be my 10 active players (I'm going with a 100 games played minimum). If either of the two Mike's from UHS that I coached get up around 100 games played, they'd definitly replace a couple of us.

    Well I guess that's about it for today. I have to get back to doing my work. I'll write again soon.
    Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
    9:06 pm
    Nice surprise.
     On Friday I went to my mailbox and I see a letter from the University of Waterloo. Now, I'm 27 years old, so I'm pretty sure this isn't the acceptance letter I was waiting for back in '99.

    I opened the letter up, read it, and felt elated.

    (brief sidebar)

    Often I wonder if I'm doing anything as a teacher. I know why I became a teacher...to help. I also know that I try my very best, and I am still learning. What I don't know is if I help anybody in the long term. I've only been teaching 3 years, so I don't know if I have taught anything real. WHat do I mean by real? Passion, determination, a love of learning, character, going the extra mile for someone...
    I know I've taught surface things. Defensive positioning, how to shift demand and supply curves, things along those lines.
    And I often dwell on these kinds of thoughts.

    and now back to our story.

    Anyways, the letter: The letter started out by saying how difficult it is to be on the deans list in the business program at waterloo. It went on to say a student I know is currently on that list, and she had taken the time to single me out as a person that inspired her to into business, and to believe in herself. It also included a couple paragraphs she had written about me.

    Made my freaking month =)
    Saturday, May 17th, 2008
    11:28 pm
    I've been meaning to do this for awhile...
     I haven't written for ages. At least a year I'd guess (I'm sure I could check my history, but that would go against my lazy nature).

    In the past few years I find I've lost almost all ability to socialize. Small talk, never a strong suit of mine, is damn near impossible. Meeting new people (friends of course, still happily with Michelle, woohoo!) doesn't happen (perhaps a byproduct of never going out) and I'm so far out of the loop with many of my friends that I really don't even know if there is a loop.

    I was talking with another teacher, a good friend of mine, about these type of things. He's in a similar situation. He went to a wedding recently and all his friends said where's he gone too, how come he doesn't come out. (His wife of course worried they thought it was her fault). The truth is that's part of being a teacher I suppose.

    Between the 60 or so hours a week I spend at work, the time working at home, and the emotion and energy I invest into the kids, I sometimes truly do feel like I have nothing left. (And often feel like I accomplish very litte of what I set out to do). Three steps forward, two steps back.

    Now of course the optimist in me wants to say "Hey, that's still a step forward overall!", but the realist in me counters with "Man that's a lot of walking..."

    Next weekend is the big chinese league basketball tournament. Many of my friends, my students, my former students and some of my coworkers will all be heading to Philly for this large tournament. For those unaware you are only allowed to play if you're Chinese. I, being the whitest guy you can imagine, will not be attending.

    When I was younger I had a lot of anger towards leagues like this that basically said you can't play based on the colour of your skin. As I got older though, I went with the mentality that, there's bigger things to worry about, there's still plenty of places to play and other things to do. In fact I've helped some teams find new players, and even helped coach a few of them.

    I find the last couple years I've been faced with a new moral dilemma. I still believe the league to essentially be racist. It's based on cultural pride apparently. If you're proud, share your culture! Still sell the "stinky tofu" you advertise at your metro tournament. Advertise in places frequented by the Chinese community. Post the rules, announce the games in Chinese if you like, hell make the entry fee in Hong Kong dollars if you like! But saying you cannot play based on how you were born is not fair. Cultural pride = good stuff, cultural exclusion; not so much.

    Note: Before I go to far in this post, I would like to say a couple side notes
    a) I know most of the people who run and coordinate this league. I'm friends with many of them, and all that I've met are great people. It's simply a difference of opinions. The league is well run, and provides great experiences and opportunities to a ton of kids in the community, which leads me to
    b) Part of why it bothers me is because the organization IS such a great opportunity. I think (although it would still be questionable morally) that if the organization was crap, it wouldn't bother me, because I wouldn't feel others are missing out.

    Anyways, back to my dilemma.

    As mentioned frequently, I'm a teacher and a coach at a local high school (no longer Unionville, I've moved on). Many of my friends who coach in the chinese league ask me if I have any good young players. Here's where the problem begins:

    - I work in a school where the background of the majority of the students is Chinese
    - The league is a great chance for the kids to play more often, stay out of trouble, and because many teams are subsidized by the Chinese community, it makes it more affordable.
    - However, I feel...just wrong...when I tell 4 or 5 of my players I have a great opportunity for you (while my white, black, indian players who love basketball just as much, and could use all those same opportunities shoot in the gym), and you should head out to this practice (because I know the rest of the conversation should honestly go, but you guys, even though some of you are better players, or need a subsidized team even more, can't try out because you're not chinese).

    My question basically is, is it right for a teacher to condone something he believes is racist if it does help out and bring a lot of joy to part of his team/class? I'm frequently torn on this.

    I'm tired...and strangely empty feeling. Try and write more sometime soon (within 2008 hopefully).
    Thursday, August 9th, 2007
    2:20 pm

    I'm almost done my course!  Just another assignment and I'll be finished.  Had a long day yesterday, tutored, worked on my assignments, went to shoot around, came home, assignments again....

    This course is such nonsense, all of it is more or less BS.  I pretty much make 99% of it up, haven't learned a thing.  However, the benefit financially is quite nice once I finish.  

    I'll be out in Nova Scotia/New Brunswich soon.  I can't wait to be near the ocean again.  Ocean and stars, perfect place to lose yourself.  Last night around 3:00am, I went outside to take out the recycling.  It was nice and cool outside, prefectly clear sky.  (Nothing like when I was living in Ehime, but still, could see some stars for sure =)  I started thinking about Eric when I was out there.  

    I layed down on the grass, just looking at the sky thinking for a long long time last night.  Really cleared my mind.  I miss him.  I miss having somebody that made me think and be different.  I don't know if I was as open about who I am around anyone as I was around Eric.  

    .....

    .....

    I'm watching lost season 2 right now while working on my assignment (I'm taking a break to type this).  Pretty addictive show.  Kinda starting to be way too many co-incidences and things for my tastes.  (Yes, I realize that 24 and Smallville also have to suspend reality, but this show seems to be having plot twists for the sake of plot twists).  That said, I'm really enjoying watching it.  

    I've seen a lot of movies this summer, let me break down the different one's I've seen. 

    Knocked Up:  Good movie.  Enjoyable.  As Gil said "this is like watching me and Mark".  It reminded me of my friends...except of course one of them got a girl pregnant.  Both Michelle and I enjoyed it, and it passed the main test...Michelle stayed awake the entire time!  

    Shrek 3:  A bit of a disappointment.  I loved the first 2 and the third just wasn't up to par.  Was worth watching, but no real big laughs.  Mostly living off the name of the first 2.  

    Pirates of the Caribbean 3:  Good, but not great.  It was a long movie and it FELT really long.  I'd watch it again when it's on tv, but much like shrek, it's not pirates 1 or 2.  

    Spiderman 3:  Notice a pattern with all the part 3's?  Again, I enjoyed it, I didn't think it felt as long as most people said, and I would watch this again without hesitation.  (I actually found it pretty damn funny!).  Sure, I agree Venom was underused, but hey, that's nitpicking.  First 2 were better, yes, but this was definitly above average.

    Bourne Ultimatum:  Now this movie is worth watching!  A lot of people get a dizzy at times, but I wasn't one of them.  I loved this movie (Michelle fell asleep, but she was pretty exhausted from a full day of cycling down to caribbana and back!).  I know I read a bad review that said "somebody get this guy a steady cam!" because the camera is constantly swinging around and bouncing up and down.  For me however, it just made the action feel that much closer.  I loved it!  Best of the 3 bourne movies!

    Rat-ta-toulie:  Great movie.  I didn't know if it would work, I was thinking "people don't like rats, and people don't like the French....how are they going to make me like a French Rat?!" haha, but it was really good!  Not stupid funny, and not as geared toward children as I would have thought, it was actually pretty witty!  Must see film.

    Transformers:  I remember watching the 1985 film 3 times in theatre.  It was the greatest movie I'd ever seen.  Sure, other movies came and went, and I had a pasing fancy with them.  For awhile, this movie or that movie would by the "GREATEST MOVIE EVER!"  but in my heart of hearts, nothign could ever top transformers.   So when a new transformers movie came out, I was skeptical to say the least.  I mean, come on...Michael Bay??  Sure he can make stuff blow up real good, but he's not exactly a master at putting together great plots (Pearl Harbour?).  Then I heard 75% of the movie was about the humans!  HUMANS?!  What the hell, as the movie critic said "Transformers is about big ass robots fighting other big ass robots!"  Of course, I soon went and saw it, and BAM, I was young again!  I was swept up!  Speilburg clearly handled the human side and story, and Bay did what he does, blew stuff up real good.   Must see movie of the year!  Definitly made for the big screen.  And just to keep the consistancy, I've seen it 3 times now.  

    Die Hard 3:  Sorry Nikhil, but I have to disagree with you.  A great movie!  Funny, witty and great action.  Sure Bruce Willis should have died 1000 times, and sure there's some big plot holes, but hey, it's Die Hard!  He's the "everyday guy" who just finds a way.  That's the appeal of John McClain.  He's not a tank like Sly or Arnold, he wasn't an amazing fighter like Jet Li....he's just a guy, who gets his butt whooped time and time again, but in the end, yells Yippee-kai-yah, and handles his business =)  Great movie....just go there, have fun and enjoy!

    Harry Potter:  ehhh......it's ok.

    Peace.

    Saturday, August 4th, 2007
    12:38 am
    Done for summer
     So, my plan this summer was to get back in shape. Well, in shape for me. I've never been in great shape, but I've been in pretty good shape before. Right now? Not so much.

    I had actually lost 10 pounds my first couple weeks off from school, but then I broke my nose badly playing basketball. I wasn't allowed to exercise at all because of the cast on my nose. I visited the hospital today to have my cast removed (although, I removed it myself awhile ago) and it'll be another 3 weeks.

    Sucks.

    Ah well. I'm also going to be heading off to the east coast with Michelle for a couple weeks. (I leave a week from now) Should be good. We have very different ways of travelling (mine's cheap, her's....not so much).

    I'm going to try writing again. I need an outlet if I can't play ball, maybe this will help.

    Question: Why don't many girls have actual hobbies? Something they are passionate about (SHOPPING DOES NOT COUNT).

    Also, when alone in a group of girls, is one of them funny? I was thinking about it and I don't know many girls I would say are actually funny. Some are ditzy funny, but not tell a joke, or story telling funny. Not really witty funny or ripping on somebody funny.

    Think about it, when you're in a group of people, the funny person is ALWAYS a guy. Now, if us guys go away, and it's just a girls night our...is one of them funny? I'm genuinly curious!
    Friday, January 5th, 2007
    7:10 pm
    What's the point?
     I REALLY need to start to listen to myself. Don't try and plan anything, don't try and do anything nice or sweet. It's just not worth it. Vegas? Ehhhhhh...didn't quite work. Dinner, suit and tie? No go. Fruitless ventures...one after another.

    Peace.
    Sunday, December 31st, 2006
    1:45 am
    2007
     Alright, I'm back from Vegas. My money however is still there at a few various casino's.
    Being the wild guy I am, I had exactly zero drinks and went to no clubs.

    Michelle's at a club again tonight. She's been about the last 4 weekends. Sucks.

    In 2007, I've decided on a few resolutions.

    a) I'm making more time for me. To do what I want. I know that sounds dumb, but if I wanna just go find a gym and shoot, I'll go shoot. If I wanna head off alone to the movies, I'll do that.

    b) Get back in shape. For at least the next month, no fast foods or bar foods of any kind. Some people think I should quit coke cuz they think I have a problem, but I think as long as I'm only drinking one coke at a time, the problem is under control (if I'm two fisting, sit me down, hold an intervention).

    I think that's about it.

    Vegas was good. Didn't get the desired results I had hoped for exactly (in terms of Michelle being excited and happy), but it was a good trip still. She treated me to a trip to the Grand Canyon, that was really amazing. We took a helicopter out there. To walk around and see something like that was amazing. And as is my tradition/luck with camera's...the batteries of course died once I was out there. A nice couple from Australia was there as well and let us use their camera, hopefully they'll email us the pictures like they said they would,...hopefully (time to trust in the human spirit!).

    Vegas is such a huge study in contrast. The vast and gaudy experience of the trip. Completely man-made, overdone and you can't help but stand in amazement at what we can build and yet wonder..."WHY does this exist?!" Still it's impressive.

    Then you head out to the Grand Canyon, completely natural, formed by water, spectacular. It makes you think there must be a reason we all exist.
    I remember laying at the edge of the ocean in the middle of nowhere in japan. I ran to the other side of the mountain my little village was situated on. There was nobody within 10km's...not a single human. Felt like I was literally at the end of the universe. I loved it. Natural things just really appeal to me. Looking up at millions of stars (as eric once wrote "The sky looked as if it had a million tiny pinpricks of light"), thinking of so many things....it was the first time I really ever felt spiritual. Like there was something much greater than this world. I read the bible cover to cover for the 2nd time not long after that. (Naomi was nice enough to bring a bible for me).

    Snuck around and dropped off Christmas cards for some friends I haven't seen in too long at night on Christmas Eve (actually technically on Christmas Day). I usually head out around midnight and drop cards and stuff off to a few people I'm missing and haven't been able to see. It makes me feel like Santa, except I'm too cheap for presents, so not nearly as good as Santa. Actually when I get tehre, and it's dark, and I'm kinda sneaking up to mailboxes or doors, I feel like a criminal.

    Now of course being a criminal is wrong and all, but uh, I have to admit, there's something really cool about being a theif. I think it's how cool it looks in crime movies. Eric and I used to think if this whole helping the world thingy didn't work out the traditional way, we'd go the Robin Hood route, steal from the rich and give to the poor. But then since we both wanted to be rich as well, that kinda created a strange catch 22...

    Luckily I'm ok with setting double standards, so maybe I just will become a theif one day. Michelle's an engineer, maybe she can design and make me gadgets!
    Saturday, December 9th, 2006
    10:59 pm
    Ramblings, followed by a million dollar idea.
     Regrets.
    I've heard that you should live life so you don't regret anything. But it's hard to know sometimes what things you'll regret over time. So I think they're a natural part of life.
    That said...regrets still suck.

    I'm sitting at home on a Saturday night. I'm just listening to music and doing work.
    I want to be playing basketball.
    My girlfriends out on a date haha. (her friend has a formal and needed a date)

    I have the worst timing in the world. I asked somebody on Friday why they seemed down, and they actually told me. And they have reason to be down. I genuinly am glad she told me what's been bothering her, but I hate when I don't know how to help.

    Had an akward conversation Friday night with another person. Went like this....
    Her: "Shaun, you never say hi on msn anymore!"
    Me: "Uh, well I haven't seen you online, for about a year"
    Her: "I'm on all the time!"
    (short akward silence...)
    Me: "You blocked me and forgot until just now didn't you."
    Her: "Um...yes..."

    Haha, turns out her and a good friend of mine, when they had their big break up a year ago, she was mad and blocked all of his friends. Man that was akward.

    Family isn't exactly my favourite topic lately. Things have deteriorated with my Dad and his side of the family to a point that, I'm not going to go to Christmas dinner.
    I was considering going though, and meeting my Dad's woman he lives with. My big plan would be when she went to shake my hand...I'd kick her. Right in the shin! It's still a good plan...but I think I'll stick to the skipping family Christmas plan.

    I have some really amazing friends. I miss them quite a bit. I can't wait until I have free time. They deserve me being a better friend (having the time to hang out) then I've been.

    When I was sitting at home flipping past this wedding tv show it got me thinking. I need money. And there's only one thing I could possibly do to get the kind of money I need to afford moving out. Yes, that's right, I need to learn how to make a wedding dress. It seems to me that it's like take a bedsheet and add lace, and BAMM thousands of dollars right there. It's a lot like when I was a kid and made a ghost costume for Halloween. Cept as my friend pointed out, the wedding dress is easier cuz you don't even need to cut out eye holes and things! THis idea's pure genius! Heck, the stitching doesn't even need to be good. I shortened my bulls jersey once, stitched it up and that's held for years! This only needs to last a single night. How easy is that! So there it is, on weekends, I'm available to all potential brides out there. Send me your measurements, give me what, 20 to 25 minutes and swing by for dress of your dreams....once I stop by walmart and pick up some bed sheets of course.

    Need more music.

    Peace.
    Sunday, October 1st, 2006
    7:44 pm
    Ever feel like your life's like quicksand? The harder you're trying, the quicker you sink? That's just how things feel right now.
    Nobody really notices how hard I'm trying. They look at ya like, why aren't you succeeding, not wow you're working hard.
    I'm just talking life in general here.
    A little adversity is good for me I suppose. I just wanna go sit out somewhere late one night soon and complain to somebody. I remember doing that once to Jeff, and he kept talking about "Wow, you have a lot of rage my friend".
    I tried talking about how frustrated I am, but it's no good. Didn't wanna listen.
    This paragraphing I'm doing makes no sense. Not one bit.
    I don't want to be told I'm doing a good job, or keep up the good work. I don't like that kinda stuff. I just wish I could make somebody...anybody...happy.
    (yaya, i know you can only make yourself happy....psht...whatever =)

    I want to rant, but I'm not even sure what I want to rant about. I wanna rant like Eric rants. I want Eric here to rant with me. He had the best rants.

    I don't feel like a teacher this year.
    I don't feel like I'm helping.
    I don't feel like I can ever make the people I love happy. Or even help them to be so.

    Some days it just seems everybody is hurting. I hate that. I feel helpless.
    My life's pretty amazing. Good healthy, great school, amazing girlfriend, great mom, financially no complaints...
    I just hate feeling helpless.

    I'm rambling. I do that a lot lately. At least in my head.

    Maybe I just need the nba season to start up again.
    Or new music.
    I dunno.
    ARGH

    I need to play aggressive in basketball tomorrow. h
    4:41 pm
    Better
     Thank God for Buttonville.
    Just put my headphones and shot around at Buttonville on my own for about an hour. Felt good.
    Still got a lot of frustration. I'm gonna take it out on whoever guards me tomorrow.
    3:01 pm
    All I could see...
     I need something to pick me up in life.
    I feel real empty lately. Like I've stopped being able to do anything well.
    Teaching just isn't enjoyable this year. I'm not good at the type of teaching I'm being asked to do. I have no knack for it. I'm trying though. I'm working ridiculous hours. I worked ridiculous hours last year, but I was at school, this year I'm in the same physical place, but it feels like I'm at work.
    Last year I loved Mondays. I loved getting up and heading in to teach. This year everyday is a struggle.

    I tried working ahead, all last night I stayed up and kept working so that I'd have time to go to Michelle's family party and surprise her. I've called her all day though, and can't get an answer, so I don't know where to go.
    It feels like that lately, no matter what I try and do, or how good my intentions, things just don't seem to work out.

    I'm in a funk. Can't really think of any other words to explain it.

    I have 1 month down now. Just another 9. That doesn't seem so bad.
    Last year I didn't want the year to end.

    My sisters doing really well. That's really good to see. She's working out, got her life straight, trying to quit smoking...everything =)

    Ah well, no sense sitting thinking about it. Going to take a break from my work and go shoot around on my driveway for a bit. Always helps. =)
    Peace.
    Sunday, September 17th, 2006
    8:19 pm
    I just don't understand!!!! ARGHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    I don't...i don't....i don't

    Can't sleep now. May as well do work. Or spider solitaire.
    AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
    Thursday, September 7th, 2006
    7:55 pm
    MAAADDDD Disjointed.
     Life's so confussing.
    Impossible to predict.
    Had a good day (after work at least), laughed a lot.
    Works....challenging to say the least. But I can do it. It's pretty amazing how undeveloped the program is and how much more you can do with it.
    Barr and Tyler are great kids. Helped me a ton today.
    Weird coming outta school, heading down to the gym and NOT seeing Matt, Carter and Christine.
    Running 5km's with Alvin tomorrow...AWWWW YAHHHH, see how outta shape I really am.
    Jimmy beat me today 21-16, so I got mad and played Toby and beat him 11-1.
    I can't dribble very well.
    Man I'm slow.
    My jumper's back! =)
    Starting Sr. Girls tryouts next week.
    SWAMPED next week. Too many things all happening at once.
    I've actually written most days, but then I delete it before I post it. Weird.
    Eric.
    Seems like every kid out there can jump nowadays.
    Our ages are starting to show...we look old.
    I think my chest is starting to sag. AHHAHA
    My butt's still perky though. HAHAH
    I need to watch the Godfather movies as a movie marathon. Anybody down???
    I wanna try Gatorade Rain, cuz I just saw it on tv, ....talk about effective advertising!
    My intro to business is real good. Good class, they're really into it.
    Have my champion triple jumper in the class.
    Sleepy...the first week of school is EXHAUSTING
    Peace
    Saturday, August 26th, 2006
    3:14 pm
    If life were like fantasy basketball
     Shaun: says:
    best fantasy league memories...
    Shaun: says:
    gil bustin his computer....OVER K. DOOLING! hahahahahah
    Shaun: says:
    you and ivhan talking trash to each other on the message board.
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    haha, throwing his monitor after he waited till 3 in the morning
    Shaun: says:
    drunk jimmy making a stupid trade (peja for brad miller and others) waking up, realizing he screwed up the league, taking em back...then finding out they woulda been his best trades all yr. haha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    yeah that day still confused me to this day
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    i still have no idea how he got them back
    Shaun: says:
    jimmy blocking me on msn after the draft for a few weeks. hahahahahahah
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    hahaha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    that was golden
    Shaun: says:
    you bringing in a rob impersonator for the draft
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    he was good
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    i can't believe how many ppl he fooled
    Shaun: says:
    ernest drafting like 7 straight sf's but assuring us he had a plan. haha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    hahaha
    Shaun: says:
    (he didn't)
    Shaun: says:
    hahahah
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    gil picking kwame brown 3 years in a row
    Shaun: says:
    Kevin taking shaq and mike finley back to back. HAHAHA
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    and darius
    Shaun: says:
    ya, gil taking a "sleeper" for 6 straight rounds. HAHAHA
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Shaun: says:
    draft day is my favourite hour of the year. haha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    serious
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    too bad fantasy ouldn't be all year round
    Shaun: says:
    makes me feel so ALIVE! hahahahhaha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    we could trade picks and stuff
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    so if you're team is crap one year you can try to trade picks to get a good player
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    that's how the grocery store and things should work!
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    you're on the clock for 1 minute, and you have to decide what to buy!
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    or stockpile picks fr the next year
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    "do I run all the way to the fruit section and risk not making it back, or just take a flyer on these fruit cups and hope they turn out".
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    and you have all your friends there making fun of every item you pick to buy
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    reminding you of all the juicy thigns you could have got instead that would have made a better meal
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    ya, we'd all have blueprints of the store....some of us would have more updated lists on where things were then others giving us a leg up...
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    jimmy would just pick everything up and then put it back on the shelf
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    i trade my ribs and steak for some veggies cause i think i could plant them and eat forever
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    you'd make a great pick....but then find out it had a leak in the package...but you'd hold onto it hoping it'd just stop leaking and still be as tasty as before.
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    (TMAC!) haha
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    ford
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    jwill
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    the list goes on and on
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    gil would keep buying the same items he hated last yr.
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    lol
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    ernest would just grab 10 of the same item and not look anywhere else
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    kevin and ivhan would just keep switching carts
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    hahah, TRUE
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    vince would just talk to the cashier and in the last 10 seconds run around and grab stuff out of our basket
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    vince would @!#$ up 90 percent of the time, then just as he was leaving, he'd win the millionth customer contest.
    Rob - Me + 3 Girls In A Tent = Good Time Camping says:
    dan sikikane would be outside the store wanting to buy some kobe steak
    Shaun: It's just a sweet sweet fantasy baby! says:
    gil would hate what he bought and throw his cart through the window.
    Saturday, August 19th, 2006
    10:44 pm
    Weird, weird day....
     I can't even begin to explain how bizzare today has been. Start to finish...feels like the twilight zone...
    Monday, August 14th, 2006
    9:41 pm
    Guess who's bizzack!
     Alright, I decided I’m finally going to release the details of my highly eventful and memorable trip to Europe…so without further ado, snippets of each day (feel free to skip ahead, I’m going to post this in segments),

    Eurotrip 2006, The Shaun Edition…

    Day 1:

    Caught my flight in Buffalo…I think the Buffalo accent is pretty much the worst accent out there…I doubt I could live with myself if I spoke like that haha.

    New York New York, Big city of dreams! Arrived at Kennedy airport, I’m sitting there for my 3 hour stopover and this lady sits right next to me. FIFTY empty seats, and she sits RIGHT next to me.
    HER: I don’t bite.
    ME: Uh…oh. Okay.
    HER: (after 1 minute of akward silence) Which is a good thing right?
    ME: Uh…yup. (I then closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep).

    I arrived in Paris, and Denise picked me up at the airport. She brought me a coke…which of course was shaken and promptly exploded on me.

    When I got off the plane, I saw a girl waiting and thought it was Denise, but she had gained like 30 pounds! I kept saying to myself “Shaun, don’t stare…don’t make any comments….be nice”…turned out it wasn’t her.

    Saw the “place du tertre” which has tons of people sketching and painting. Reminded me of Cindy’s painting. Man, there is a lot of talented people out there!

    France was far more multi-cultural than I expected.

    Got picked up at the airport by two 15 yr olds….MAD CREEPY

    My Camera BUSTED!!!! IT’S MY FIRST DAY!

    Souvenier shops in big churches seem wrong somehow. And how do all these people focus so well on the choir and speakers in the church with hundreds of tourists wandering in and out constantly.

    Stain Glass windows are beautiful.

    I arrive at the hostel Denise booked for us…I flip open the guest book. The last person to sign wrote “WORST HOSTEL EVER!!!” Great pick Denise…

    Went to go try and get my camera fixed. We went to this future shop kinda place. It had a “take a number” thingy… Denise went to grab one and the whole contraption ripped off the stand.

    Can’t fix my camera…damnit!
    Eiffel tower does look kinda cool at night.

    Day 2:

    Went to a place called Mont St. Michel (google it! It’s ILL!!!). It was a pain to get to, but was well worth the trip. The sky was clouded over and raining when we arrived, and clouded over and pouring when we left…but the entire time in btw was real nice weather.

    It was so cold that Denise and I each had to buy extra shirts at the place…cuz Denise kinda looks up to me, she bought identical tshirts…and we looked WHACK.

    At night, we saw France move onto the world cup finals with a 1-0 victory. All I could hear until 8am the next morning was horns blaring and “Allez Zidane” and “On est au finale” (French for “we’re in the finals!”)

    Denise being the amazing tour guide she is, had me run ALL THE WAY ACROSS THE CITY pretty much to see the last bit of the big game on the big public outdoor screen we were told about. When we arrived, it turns out there was nothing there. But as soon as the game ended the streets were flooded with
    - fireworks
    - air guns/air horns
    - people climbing tall buildings to dance on em
    - people riding on the top of cars

    If they win the cup, they’ll destroy this city.

    Day 3:

    Today I’m at Monet’s Garden with Denise. We’re waiting for a bus right now to head back to the train station.

    The garden itself is pretty dope, but I don’t really know much about flowers. I liked the trees, bridges and ponds. It was a nice fluid blend of nature and man-made things.

    Monet himself, I’m a big fan. Turns out his main influence (or rather his obsession!) is with Japanese art! My calendar of Japanese art at home, Monet actually had all the originals!

    It poured briefly, so of course Denise jabbed me in the eye with the point on her umbrella.

    SIDE NOTE: Some kid just came up and yelled “EHHHH” about a foot away from denise and scared her…I like that kid.

    So anyways, ya, Denise wounded me with her umbrella. And ya, it hurt. But I walked it off like a man! Not giving her the satisfaction of seeing me in pain!

    Everybody saw her stab me. I have witnesses. She laughed and said “did I just poke you in the eye?” Everybody in line nodded in agreement like “ya…of course you did…you twit”.

    Oh and Denise insists that “yam” means to eat. I.e. “I’m going to Yam now”, means I’m going to go eat now. My take on it is that Denise if nuts.

    We’re both pretty excited that we think we’re losing weight! It’s like 3:30pm and we haven’t eaten yet today. We wanted to weigh ourselves, and saw monet’s garden, monets’ house…but we couldn’t find monet’s bathroom scale, so we’re just guessing we lost weight.

    Her friend Vince wants to be a teacher. He is
    a) Male b) Minority C) An aspiring FRENCH teacher.
    The only way he could be a more favoured candidate is if he lost a foot or slept with a man. He’s pretty set.

    Trends I’ve noticed in France:
    Black guys with sisqo hair
    Girls wear summer dresses
    Button up shirts not buttoned up and no shirt underneath

    Denise just picked up my Vibe magazine and said “lets see what black people have been up to” and then realized the other 3 people sitting here next to us are black…and they speak English. Denise is an idiot.

    Denise wanted to know what she missed out on this yr…I told her Grillz…I tried to explain them…and she said “so, basically they’re retainers?”

    I’m gonna pimp my retainer and call it my grill =)

    At night we went to sacre coere (big church on a hill) and there was this guy playing the guitar and got about 50 people to sing along to 60’s music together.

    During the day Denise told me “walk right behind me so we can both get into the subway
    for the price of one ticket, it’s what everybody does here”. So I do it…
    And the police grab me. And I get fined 25 euro’s!

    Later that night, met a cool guy named Heath from Wisconsion, he’s gonna come with us to the Louvre tomorrow.
    Talked to Michelle on the phone. Good times.

    Nothing in Paris feels romantic. I don’t understand why people say it’s a romantic city. A city can’t be romantic. A city is steel and cement. Not very romantic if you ask me. People can be romantic. A moment with somebody, an action, these can be romantic, but not a city.

    Day 4:

    We decided to walk from our hostel all the way across the city. Saw some amazing stuff that neither of us knew existed. Denise was exhausted and slept till 11, so we started our day late.

    My necks killing me today. I wonder if it’ll ever be normal again.

    Walked to the Louvre. I was real impressed, that there was NO lineup! We also got in free. Met another new guy today, named Nick. I liked him cuz he compliments me and says I’m funny. Also he makes fun of Denise. Both are good things.

    Denise and I were sitting outside the Louve by the fountains waiting for Heath. She told me her friend Olivia told her she’s become much more feminine in her time here in france. Then an innocent little child splashed Denise with some water, and she screamed at him “F@#$!!!!!!” The kid was terrified. It was PRICELESS!

    Eventually, the four of us went into the museum. I wanted to pee in the washroom that Tom Hanks pee’d in, but it didn’t happen. The museum as Heath pointed out, should just say “this way, old stuff, that way…more old stuff.”

    Twice the alarms went off and we were locked into a room.

    Denise took us on a tour. So naturally we were soon hopelessly lost and walking in circles. (she’s actually been incredibly helpful, but where is the fun in telling her that).

    Napoleon’s bedrooms were impressive. Talk about overcompensating for something! He was such a short man. I kept picturing some of my short friends on a horse.

    Some of the paintings were pretty sick. I’m pretty sure a lot of them are paint by numbers. The most impressive thing at the Louvre…is the building itself. The ceilings and halls are ridiculous! Saw a lot of the classics (Venus De Milo,which is ok and the Mona Lisa…which is crap! It’s small and she’s just not very hot at all, travel thousands of miles to see a picture of an ugly woman? I don’t get it…I think the picture of the 4 dogs playing poker is better). I should become an art critic.

    My camera’s hopeless

    When Denise finally successfully lead us out of the museum, it started to POUR. We waited in a small dry place before sprinting to the subway. We only had 1 umbrella so while we sprinted I tried to keep it over Denise’s head. Cept she can’t run in straight lines, so it’s quite tricky! I did well though. Barely a drop on her. I got soaked of course.

    Denise got us lost in the subway station. I think we need to elect a new leader. (I attempted to steal her tour guide torch and lead us at the louvre, but had no idea where I was going. One day I’ll be in charge! You’ll see,….they’ll all see! BWAHAHAH)

    After going back to the hostel briefly, the rain stopped and it was nice out. We went looking for dinner and found out we’re REALLY close to the red light district. Saw the Moulin rouge. Pretty nasty area. How can so many strip clubs stay open?!?! Bought dinner and left.

    Later, went back to the steps I ran yesterday. We heard a really nice song being played on a piano. It was coming from the stps and there was a big inflatable screen there. They were showing old corny silent movies. Pretty surreal sitting in the middle of paris watching 1930’s movies! The best one was about a goofy inventor tryna solve the crisis of banana peels being slippery and thousands being injured by isolating the slippery gene. Pretty memorable!
    Saturday, July 1st, 2006
    1:44 am
    I feel like I've lost a friend
     I went to Buttonville this evening...saw the five nets there...except...there was no rims. Only backboards and poles.
    They've taken down the rims...meaning, no basketball at Buttonville.
    I know this sounds strange, but I was really, truly...sad.
    I think I'll wear black tomorrow. Oh Buttonville...how I wish we'd taken more pictures together.
    Seriously, Buttonville has been a HUGE part of my growing up. Ever since I was around 11 years old (grade 6), I've been going to Buttonville 5 or 6 days a week, all summer...every summer (Note: except when I lived in Japan). Well, that's one heck of a long time.

    Why would they take down all the nets? Vandalism? Well, nobody has ever broken or defaced a net there to my knowledge (although I would be willing to bet that somebody willbe pissed the nets gone and break a window or something).

    Why do they NEED nets at Buttonville?
    It's THE place to play. It kept a lot of people doing very posative things for a very long time. Not smoking, not drinking, not doing drugs...but playing basketball. Running over to the water fountain, talking...regardless of age. Regardless of race. Regardless of financial status, people have gotten along in relative peace on the courts. Families play on court one, so do small children. On court 2 is the full court runs. And court 3 (the 1/2 court) is for one on one, or working on your game. It is accepted, it is loved...it is gone.

    Just watch, some young impressionable kid like, oh I dunno...Jordan will probably join a gang or something. Heck he'll probably even start his own gang. Call it something all cool and sophisticated like "Jordan's gang" or something.

    I plan on emailing my local member of parliment tomorrow.

    As soon as I found out the nets were gone, I called Jimmy, (I needed support). Who in turn felt he needed support...he called Neil...

    Within 25 minutes, most of the basketball network of people knew, all shocked, then depressed. I think we should all sit around and talk about just what BUttonville ment to us. Kind of celebrate in Buttonville's memory.

    But Buttonville wouldn't want us to be sad, no...Buttonville wasn't that kind of person. Buttonville was about joy, and although Buttonville is no longer with us, Buttonville will always live on in our hearts...

    Here's to you Buttonville...
    Gonna go buy some liquor so I can pour some out for you.
    Peace.
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